Just got up after actually sleeping last night. What a wonderful weekend! It began on Friday with a great coffee meeting with filmmaker friends Steph and Alec (soon to be highlighted in our friends of trippin’ section so stay tuned…) I always feel so inspired after hanging with them. Our films couldn’t be more different, but I believe our motivations for making them are spot on. We go through so many of the same ups and downs on our journey and it’s become a fun tradition to analyze them over caffeinated beverages at Café Figaro.
After, I turned down some fun invites in favor of staying home to edit. And, I was rewarded. I finally got past my “trailer editing block” (a close cousin to writer’s block) and came up with some stuff with which I’m rather pleased. Imagine – staying home on a Friday night to do homework – who knew I was that kind of girl?
Actually, I’ve been realizing it quite a bit lately. I was explaining to Steph and Alec how I feel like I’m finally sitting at the ‘Grown-Up Table” and Steph’s eyes lit up, “No way. I was just saying the exact same thing the other day.”
I don’t know what it is that’s changed or even when that change took place, but at some point I went from “playing at filmmaker” to taking things seriously. And it seems like others are now taking me and my work seriously as well. It’s a nice feeling. And it’s a powerful motivation – a whole different level of commitment.
In my horror film class I taught a unit on films dealing with the horrors of adolescence during which we explored cultural views on what it means to “grow up.” With men it’s usually a pro-active step – he “conquers a woman” to become a man (or perhaps buys a car, gets a job, etc.). For females it tends to be more passive. She becomes a woman when she starts to menstruate. Pretty lame that it takes something that happens to her for her to qualify as a woman.
Anyhoo, for the past year or so as I’ve moved into a collegiate-style living situation, been fired from my very first “McJob” and am repeatedly courted by jailbait mistaking me for some young co-ed, I’ve been joking that I’m going through my “adult onset puberty.” But perhaps I was not so far off. I think I’m finally beginning to feel like I’m “becoming a woman.”
Sitting at the grown-up table doesn’t mean what I thought it meant at all. It’s still whimsical and playful and exciting, perhaps even more so quite frankly. It’s far more fun to really savor one’s food than fling it across the table. It’s nice to not waste time on fighting over whom gets the larger piece of chocolate cake, but rather adjourn to the library to enjoy thoughtful discussion whilst sipping sherry.
Anyway, my coffee is gone and I have a writing meeting/breakfast date shortly, so more on “Devi’s Weekend at the Grown-Up Table” later (highlights to come: we had an insightful and super fun trippin’ screening last night and met with the Antichrist on Saturday – how’s that for adulthood?)