Choosing a producer is much like finding a partner with whom to raise a child I imagine. You have to share a lot of the same values and vision. Otherwise, your kid’s gonna wind up a confused, incoherent mess. As I rode the plane over Labor Day weekend en route to the Oklahoma Horror Film Festival, I was reassured once more that I was in good hands with my producer, Stephanie.
At our last meeting she’d told me I simply had to read Patti Smith’s autobiography “Just Kids” that recounts Smith’s early struggling years and amazing relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe. “They were just like you. So positive about everything. Just doing it for the love of it. You will be amazed.”
In fact, I was moved almost to tears. I read it on the plane amidst screaming children (one was literally foaming at the mouth – it was frightening.) I thought I’d never be able to concentrate enough to read, but within moments I was transported. Smith wrote of my New York, only even better in its heyday when the Chelsea Hotel would greet the likes of Salvador Dali, Jimi Hendrix and Allen Ginsberg on any given day.
One passage particularly resonated. She wrote about this moment where she experienced this incredible sense of peace and confidence. Despite poverty and no concrete plan, she felt this wave of calm come spread over her. In an instant, she just knew. I’d described that exact same feeling to Kenny a few months back. In the midst of all the chaos, I suddenly just knew, “This is gonna happen. This is where I’m supposed to be, what I’m supposed to be doing. It’s all going to work out.”
I’ve been in this nice space ever since – more focused than ever on work, less concerned about setbacks, petty annoyances or other inconsequential stresses. I’m reminded of an old feeling I used to get back in my ballerina days –Michael Sembello described it as “when the dancer becomes the dance” in his classic 80s hit. Perhaps I am a “maniac”, but it was fun to see my same feeling expressed in this mesmerizing book. How exciting to feel what one’s heroes have felt.
Time issues notwithstanding, admittedly I haven’t felt much like blogging of late. I know I’ll regret not recording all that’s been happening. It’s such a crazy time and I don’t want to forget nary an instant of it. Yet it seems as though every moment is accounted for spent doing what matters most: writing, teaching, bringing a movie to life. It’s hard to write about life when one is so immersed living in it.
But I just stepped off my last plane for a while. In fact, this is the first time in nearly 2 years in which I have no idea when or to what destination my next plane ride shall be. So, there are no more excuses. Next stop – Oklahoma Horror Film Festival recap at last…