So I went to a screening of Todd Solondz’s latest film followed by Q&A with the man himself and the always entertaining Paul Reubens.  The highlight of the evening was Solondz’s laugh out loud quote, “My films aren’t for everybody, especially those who like them.”  Sadly, I found it to be a very symbolic statement about a lot of films by directors once beloved by me from whom I now feel estranged (Burton, Jackson, Lynch, Scorsese and the list goes on.) I was even disappointed by my darling Polanski’s last effort.  Is it a fear of change, or a disdain for more of the same, or have my once fave directors and I merely grown apart? Sigh.

Life During Wartime had some great moments, at times awkwardly comedic, surprisingly insightful, and beautifully surreal.  However, as a whole it was disappointing.  For Solondz fans, I would describe it as being to Happiness, what Palindromes is to Welcome to the Dollhouse.  Perhaps I am simply too “pedestrian” and/or narrow-minded to “get it.”  But ultimately, I found both Palindromes and Life During Wartime to be fairly inaccessible, belabored and, quite frankly, pretentious.

That said, the evening was quite fun and bless the Silent Movie Theater for offering up such fabulous opportunities (can you believe the evening was free?)  It’s also been amazing food for thought.  I’ve had some delightfully indulgent coffee and lunch meetings the past few days engaging in philosophical discourse with filmmaking friends, exploring the artists we are and how we fit into (or don’t fit into) the scheme of themes.  As so many around us seem to be filling with more and more despair and panic, our group of kindred spirits seem to be coming more and more into our own, happy, fulfilled, confident.  I almost wonder if we’re going through a metaphorical Flood, in which those of us who find grace in our art, are permitted sanctuary on our happy Arc, while others less sure of their path feel as though they are drowning.  Sort of seems that way.

I just had another interview in which I was asked the best advice I was ever given about filmmaking and, once more, quoted the brilliant William Goldman’s wise insight, “Nobody knows anything.”  No wiser or more liberating statement has ever been said.  I hope Todd Solondz is pleased with the movie he’s made and that other audience members appreciate it in ways I was unable.  I’m glad we live in a world where there are so many options and tons of grey areas where “right,” “wrong,” “good,” “bad” are not universal truths.

I have been writing like a fiend the last couple days and it feels great.  I’m not beholden to “the market” or even logic or common sense.  Freedom is a beautiful thing. Now – time to go exercise it some more.